Signs that show Man Made Global Warming is Definitely Still Happening

A Farewell to Snow

Poo? In your woods? Then AGW definitely, truly exists!

Poo? In your woods? Then AGW definitely, truly exists!

As your boiler breaks down, your pipes freeze, your car won’t start, your Ocado delivery fails to arrive, your train is cancelled, your neck is broken after slipping on black ice and you lie in an emergency ward waiting for a doctor to turn up only to learn that they’re all off today because of the weather, you might be forgiven for thinking that all this has something to do with global cooling, changes in the Pacific Decadal Oscillation, and the decline in sunspot activity perhaps auguring a new Maunder minimum.

But you couldn’t be more wrong.

“It’s all actually a sign that man made global warming is very much a live issue and that there’s more of it happening than ever,” says a top scientist, who holds the British record for securing grant-funding for global warming research projects so he must know what he’s talking about.

“Look at the Met office,” the scientist goes on. “They’ve just told us that 2010 is the hottest year since records began in 1850 and even though the stupid Central England Temperature record tells us something quite different and even though the year hasn’t actually finished yet they must know what they’re talking about and they definitely can’t have fiddled the data because the Met office is part of the government and they wouldn’t lie or get things wrong which is why that barbecue summer was such a scorcher.”

The big problem is, the scientist said, is that the public are really stupid. They think just because Dr David Viner of the Climatic Research Unit said in the Independent in 2000 that soon there’d be no snow because of global warming, when what he actually meant was that soon there’d be lots of snow and that this would be “proof” of global warming. The interviewer just missed out the word “proof” that’s all because journalists are lazy that way.

Then the scientist issued a cut-out-and-keep guide of Signs That Show Man Made Global Warming Is Definitely Still Happening And That Cancun Won’t Be An Almighty Flop.

1. Warm weather

2. Cold weather

3. In-between weather.

4. Dark skies at night

5. Light skies in the morning

6. An unpleasant moist/damp/wet sensation when it rains

7. Ice appearing when the temperature drops below zero

8. Clouds rolling across sky in all sorts of funny shapes, some days like cotton wool, other days in streaks, and on some days not there at all.

9. Ursine subarboreal toilet activity

10. Strong new evidence of ultramontane sympathies at the Vatican

Related posts:

  1. My holiday is being ruined by global cooling. But try telling that to the ‘scientists’
  2. 10 reasons to be cheerful about the coming new Ice Age
  3. Global Warming: is it even happening?
  4. Why Man-Made Global Warming is a load of cobblers; Pt 1

16 thoughts on “Signs that show Man Made Global Warming is Definitely Still Happening”

  1. Galatian says:4th December 2010 at 12:31 pmClimate change is still happening. How do I know? Your old chum Marcus B was in rip-roaring form on The Now Show (3rd December) and Marcus definitely knows as he went to Exeter University and has made a career telling unfunny jokes.
  2. Orde says:4th December 2010 at 3:22 pmYes it was a bravura performance from ‘Prigsmug’ who knows all about the collecting and analysis of data, and what’s been happening to temperatures world wide this year.Funny how people like him who profess to fight established stereotypical opinions are so ready to stereotype others who hold contrary beliefs.
  3. Velocity says:4th December 2010 at 5:11 pmOrdeThat’s because all British ‘comedians’ (if you can call endless boring piss-taking funny!) are lefties.And what do lefties do? They don’t think for themselves, they just swallow the Party line unthinkingly, unblinkingly and stuck on ‘repeat’ spew it out verbatim. Worker drones, the lights are on but nobodies home…. a room full of 1984… in lock-step with Lennon and not a new thought since (despite the endless proof socialism stinks every time).

    We need a friggin clear out of these tedious leftie loon comedians, isn’t the country a big enough clown show? But what chance when the Bent Broadcasting Co answers to the Gov’t and EU for their money and ITV are regulated to hell.

    Every possible alternate appears on Channel 4 the bleating scum raise their fat ignorant gobs to fever pitch

    After 14 years of Labour Marxism there’s warehouses full of material, everything from crappy public transport, killer NHS hospitals, shite education, cues at airports that can’t stop a guy with plastic in his y-fronts to mind-numbing health and safety.

    The British Totalitarian State runs like a joke in summer then falls apart into total national farce at 0 Degrees Centigrade when a snow flake falls . I’d make up some jokes but my tummy’s a little full of heavy duty battery acid!

  4. Velocity says:4th December 2010 at 5:22 pmJames,Here’s some more evidence of that 2 Degrees warming;Prague, Czech Rep. -7 (7 Degrees colder than Av.)
    Munich, Germany -10 (8 Degrees colder than Av.)
    Moscow, Russia -11 (8 Degrees colder than Av.)
    London England -2 (5 Degrees colder than Av.)

    When +2 above average is actually -7 Degrees colder than average you know the (leftie) loons have taken over the asylum… all 3 Parties are insane, and there is the Mental Health Act to work with?!!

  5. David Weaver says:5th December 2010 at 8:13 pmRemind us again James – what are your scientific qualifications? What journals have you submitted to? How’s your knowledge of Popperian philosophy of science?What’s that – you don’t have ANY scientific qualifications? And yet the Telegraph keep paying you? And you have the temerity to accuse those who disagree with you of being morons?Until you have a Ph.D. in some climate related subject, please be quiet and let the big boys and girls get on with their work. That is all.
  6. Velocity says:6th December 2010 at 2:33 amDavid AGWeaver,I didn’t notice PhD after your initials? …don’t tell me, its IOU, you’re a socialist right?How society works (except lefties) is the public listens to the experts because they do their job and we do ours. If 2 sets of experts disagree we let them carry on fighting it out (its been 10 years now tooth and nail).

    Eventually time shows some experts arguments hold water over the years and some turn out to be Gov’t funded lying scumbag crones. 60% of the British public now don’t believe this shite, it may have something to do with year after year of snow after year after year of “mild warm winters” and “not a snow flake to be found” BS.

    Hasn’t Al Gore, the IPCC’s Rajendra Pachuari, NASA’s James Hansen, Michael ‘Hockey Stick’ Mann and the entire crew of hysterical climate loons at the Met Office and Uni of East Anglia not been caught dropping enough porkies (lies) for the penny to drop for you?

    I’d just like to know what initials were awarded to your brain you can’t work out the cheats (RIP for brain dead)???

    Answers on a Postcard to; Which Side Is Lying?, ‘It’s Snowing & Freezing (Again!!!)’ when they said it would be ‘Warm & Mild’ Complaints Department, University of East Anglia & Socialist Retards.

  7. David Weaver says:6th December 2010 at 12:17 pm@Velocity – I have a degree in Computer Science. I would think that would make me eminent more qualified scientifically than James Delingpole since a large part of my degree focused on pattern recognition in large quantities of information (for example large quantities of information dealing with… hmm, let’s see.. climate change for instance). What are your qualifications exactly?Incidently I am not a socialist. Since when did someone’s scientific opinions dictate their politics?Oh and kudos for the ad hominem attack. You’ll notice that unlike you I am attacking the issue not the person. I asked a simple question regarding James Delingpole’s scientific qualifications.
  8. Velocity says:6th December 2010 at 12:48 pmDavidSo with your computer science Degree you KNOW how inaccurate global climate modelling is don’t you? You understand what all the sceptics are saying about GCM’s not even being able to mimick past Temps, and being inaccurate predicting future Temps, and being totally untrustworthy as a model to rely on for policy advise… don’t you?With your qualies and rigorous application of State educated mush you fully understand the sceptics point that GCM’s not factoring in cloud albedo as a negative (cooling) effect it is stupid, and double-dumb because it leads to runaway warming predictions. Precisely what the GCM’s are doing, consistently (wrong) predicting over-heating.

    You know this for a fact because reality has exposed this patent fact, as all the sceptics have said it would, contrary to the shrill inaccurate incompetent AGW’ers stroies. We’ve had the PROOF, 10yrs of Uni of EA and UK Met GCM’s predicting warm benign winters and we’re had (in reality) no such thing, quite the opposite, it’s freezing.

    Haven’t we?

    If the CGM’s predicted these colder winters they’d be validated. The patent hard cold fact is reality has invalidated the computer models, for precisely the reasons the sceptics said it would. AGW is invalid, as is tree ring sampling. Invalid junk science. That’s how science works, scepticism is how science works

  9. David Weaver says:6th December 2010 at 1:47 pmTo quote wikipedia – citation needed. Please link to the relevant journals that support your argument.I am curious – what do you think of Judith Curry? She is clearly critical of the methodologies of the IPCC but at the same time also has contributed much research indicating that climate change is still an irrefutable fact (only the outcomes are uncertain). How does she fit into your view that all scientists are engaged in a massive conspiracy?I am perfectly willing to accept that the outcomes are uncertain, but the fact that the climate is changing is uncontested in the scientific community.

    None of what you say detracts from the fact that I have more scientific qualifications than James Delingpole though.

  10. Velocity says:6th December 2010 at 4:44 pmDavid AGWeaverThe fact you have greater qualifications than probably James and I combined should point you to the fact you’re qualified to uncover the holes in Co2 theory.But clearly it doesn’t give you more common sense. From my 20yrs in business I can smell BS in a very short time in the main. Al Gore, Pachuari et al just keep lying, don’t they? The AGW crews (crones) science just keeps falling apart at the seams, doesn’t it? The models keep being invalidated, don’t they?

    How much crapology do you need see in front of your very eyes for the falsehood of this AGW sham junk bunkum to sink in buddy boy?

    And no nobody dispute climate change. Correct. The problem is the AGW crew (crones) have been trying to alter the climate. The Hockey Stick tried to eradicate known science, known data to eliminate a reality, the Medieval Warm Period. Meanwhile at the other end they tried to inflame the warmth, until someone advised them their Temp stations were suffering from urban heat island effect.

    They’ve done more than prop up a dead-end theory, validate and invlaid measure like tree ring data, they’ve actually tried to re-write (pervert) actual known science.

    Yes it is a “global conspiracy”. But like all conspiracies it is individuals acting corruptly and spreading the disease through that most corrupt organism on the planet, government. It is Gov’t funding that has spread this disease. They should all be taken aside, individual by individual, and jailed for their part.

    In the case of politicians, it runs into £$€ Millions and Billions of public money defrauded from the public purse

  11. Frank Tavos says:7th December 2010 at 4:34 pmDavid AGWeaver:Give up before Velocity embarasses you some more. You lost the argument about 5 posts ago.
  12. Leigh Waters says:10th December 2010 at 1:41 pmCooeee there is no debate that globally the temperatures are rising. This isn’t a theory, this is something you can look back on recorded temperatures and plot them out on a neat graph and see that year after year GLOBALLY things are getting warmer (it’s not all about little ol Blighty). Here’s one of those graphs: the obvious upward trend)The bit people are arguing about is whether it is man who is causing the temperatures to rise or it’s a natural occurance, not whether temperatures are rising at all!

    I suppose you have to think of something to blog about, so sometimes blog about things you know aren’t true.

  13. ge0050 says:10th December 2010 at 5:21 pmAGW = $$. Plain and simple. Using taxpayers money to move factories from places where labour costs are high, to places where labour costs are low. Factory owners used to resist this, because of the expense. Sometimes they even had to clean up the polution to stay in business.However, with ETS, the TRADING portion allows them to trade their “pollution”.It works like this. A factory in the UK is polluting. It will have to pay $$ millions to clean up. However, if it moves to India where CO2 emmissions are lower, then it can apply for the taxpayers to pay for the move under the ETS.

    This is a win win for the company. They don’t need to clean up their polution. The UK tax payer gets the bill for the factory moving. The workers in the UK lose their jobs and are replaced with low cost workers in India.

    The benefit to the UK is that that pollution is reduced. However, 6 months later the pollution from India is carried by the winds back to the UK, so in the end there is no change in global pollution. We have simply moved the source of the pollution.

    If this was really about reducing global emissions, the program would be called ERS. Emissions Reductions System. It isn’t. The program is ETS. Emissions Trading System.

  14. AGWFRAUGHTWITHFAUD says:11th December 2010 at 12:39 amVelocity…I think I am in love with you…and yes, I am a scientist who has worked with GCCM’s and knows that you are correct. Most super-computers today can’t handle all the data, let along give you a good trend on a planet that is 4.5 billion years old.4.5 billions old vs 5,000 years of data?
  15. AGWFRAUGHTWITHFAUD says:11th December 2010 at 12:46 am“is still an irrefutable fact.I am perfectly willing to accept that the outcomes are uncertain, but the fact that the climate is changing is uncontested in the scientific community.”I think I would like your degree to be given back, my tax money has been swindled to no good use. Does anyone see a massive error of logic here?

    A bit of Discrete Mathematics revision will do you good, David Weaver!

  16. Velocity says:16th December 2010 at 11:06 amLeigh AGWaters,Ever heard the saying, “Lies, Damn Lies and Government Statistics” ?Well you’re quoting from a world average mean temp, a figure no scientist can fathom how it’s arrived at.

    So while “little Old Blighty” is indeed freezing its not all on its lonesome is it? Take Cancun in Mexico, go to the World Weather Org website, check through all the spot temps in each country. Like Cancun you’ll find an average per place of some -5 to -8 Degrees colder than average.

    I’ve been checking over the past few weeks. here’s my list of -5 to -8 degrees colder than average; Geneva Switzerland, London England, Budapest Hungary, Berlin and Munich Germany, Prague Czech Rep., Moscow and St Petersburg Russia, Washington USA and of course Cancun Mexico.

    So tell me Einstein, if ALL these places are -5 to -8 Degrees colder than average, where the f**k is Earthtrends measuring its data points?

    Give me a country suffering 2 degrees warmer mush for brains????

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