Official: Icelandic volcano with unpronounceable name was caused by Man Made Global Warming – James Delingpole

April 18, 2010

You were getting worried weren’t you? 100,000 British tourists unable to get home from their Easter hols in the Med – possibly stuck there for as long as 10 days. The longest no-fly-zone over British skies since the days of Alcock and Brown. A terrifying plume of volcanic dust which swats aeroplanes from the sky like some cashmere-sweater-owner having a go at clothes moths. But still no sign of anyone prepared to tell us what we were all yearning to hear: that it’s all the fault of yummy mummies in their 4 x 4s, chavs taking too many cheap holiday flights, and evil, AGW-denying journalists encouraging people to boost their carbon emissions by writing hideous lies on their vile Telegraph blogs. (Hat tip: Watts Up With That)

Luckily, Scientific American – via Reuters – has finally managed to unearth one:

OSLO (Reuters) – A thaw of Iceland’s ice caps in coming decades caused by climate change may trigger more volcanic eruptions by removing a vast weight and freeing magma from deep below ground, scientists said on Friday.

Er well, sort of. In the next paragraph they’re forced to concede that the eruption below the Eyjafjallajokull glacier had nothing to do with global warming.

They said there was no sign that the current eruption from below the Eyjafjallajokull glacier that has paralysed flights over northern Europe was linked to global warming. The glacier is too small and light to affect local geology.

But they’re not about to let a good story go that easily:

Our work suggests that eventually there will be either somewhat larger eruptions or more frequent eruptions in Iceland in coming decades,” said Freysteinn Sigmundsson, a vulcanologist at the University of Iceland.

“Global warming melts ice and this can influence magmatic systems,” he told Reuters. The end of the Ice Age 10,000 years ago coincided with a surge in volcanic activity in Iceland, apparently because huge ice caps thinned and the land rose.

Phew. So AGW was sort of involved. Tangentially. This means that the report is able to deliver a nice little homily at the end about the seriousness of Climate Change – and its causes. Just in case any of us had forgotten.

He said that melting ice seemed the main way in which climate change, blamed mainly on use of fossil fuels, could have knock-on effects on geology. The U.N. climate panel says that global warming will cause more floods, droughts and rising seas.

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‘Climategate scientists should be immediately beatified in preparation for full sainthood by 2011′ says latest official enquiry | James Delingpole

April 15th, 2010

Go on then. Have a guess what the latest official Climategate enquiry – headed by the rigorous, utterly unbiased, totally impartial, and fanatically unpartisan Lord Oxburgh – has decided.

Yes, that’s right. They’re all totally innocent!

“We found a small group of dedicated if slightly disorganised researchers who were ill-prepared for being the focus of public attention,” concludes the report, confirming what many of us have long suspected: if only Professor St Phil Jones had had proper media training in how to lie properly, lose data, and delete emails after FOI requests without being caught, none of this unspeakableness would have happened.

5 Responses to “‘Climategate scientists should be immediately beatified in preparation for full sainthood by 2011′ says latest official enquiry”

  1. Owen Kirton says:April 15, 2010 at 2:12 pmDoesn’t this bloke Roxburgh own his own wind turbine factory?
  2. Owen Kirton says:April 15, 2010 at 2:13 pmcorrection..Lord Oxburgh.
  3. Mark says:April 16, 2010 at 2:42 pmThey’re all totally innocent but now the response :
    http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/169578/College-gives-files-of-climate-change-sceptics-to-police
  4. Pete H says:April 17, 2010 at 4:30 amIts was a hell of a cliffhanger James! Coming after Pen Mann’s “get out of jail free card” and the Parliamentary “what decline” whitewash!Its truly a “Travesty”!
  5. Carl C says:April 20, 2010 at 5:12 pmJames, did you even read any of the emails? Or where you happy being spoonfed a few out of context words here and there by FOX news? Still, I guess scientist bashing makes more interesting headlines than presenting science in full context.

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My excitement over the Conservatives’ manifesto… | James Delingpole

April 14, 2010

… is no doubt as great as yours. I can imagine that few of you will be able to sleep a wink tonight as you excitedly contemplate Dave Cameron’s commitment to reducing carbon emissions by 80 per cent by 2050 and his promise that Britain will NEVER enter the euro.

Here are a few more proposals in a similar vein from the 28,000 word manifesto which really caught my eye and made me want to send out excitable Louise-Bagshawe-type Tweets enthusing about the bright new future Britain will soon be enjoying TOGETHER.

1. White cliffs of Dover guaranteed never to be painted black (not even tasteful Farrow & Ball Clunch or Dimity, whatever the demands from Brussels) under a Conservative administration.

2. Carbon dioxide to be abolished altogether by 2130.

3. Illegal immigrants to be given an extremely stern talking to and repatriated under a tough new “21 strikes and you’re out” rule.

4. 50p upper band tax rate to be reduced to 49.5p no later than the beginning of the Tories’ third term in office.

5. A new NHS holiday day to be introduced into calendar for nationwide celebrations of the NHS.

6. Bankers to be put in stocks once a month and pelted by attractive young black women who have never before voted Conservative but who recognise that this is a necessary corrective if Broken Britain is to be healed.

7. Britain’s £200-billion-plus structural deficit to be eradicated by 2014 using green technologies as yet undeveloped but when they appear they’re going to make us a fortune, just you see.

8. Morecambe and Wise to be regenerated using DNA extracted from their bones and given a new show to be broadcast every weekend so that the entire nation will be united in mirth just like in the good old days.

9. All children between 4 and 17 encouraged to join Young Alinsky Pioneer (TM) units where they will participate every weekend in synchronised swimming, marching, flag waving and singing songs in celebration of the Dear Leader.

10. VAT to be permanently abolished on hessian shopping bags which say: “MY BIG ECO BAG” (or similar) on the side.

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Trouble Upriver

I rarely review TV drama.

Three reasons why I hardly ever review TV drama: 1) the length, 2) the politics, 3) sheer bloody laziness. I suppose the last one is the main reason but the others aren’t just excuses. It really is too depressing when, three hours into one of those Sunday and Monday two-part dramas, you suddenly realise that you’ve already wasted one evening and you’re about to waste another, but that you can’t bail out now because you’re in too deep — and what if something good and exciting suddenly happens?

Almost all TV drama is too long and the reason for this is that the more screen hours you fill the bigger your commissioning budget. So any ambitious director who wants to make a halfway decent-looking drama has to pad it out till it’s as bloated as a foie gras goose. This, of course, builds up expectations which the dénouement cannot possibly hope to fulfil. Especially not when — as is invariably the case, given the political sympathies of 99.99 per cent of people in TV — the twist turns out to be that the baddie wasn’t after all the innocent black crack dealer or the misunderstood Islamist or the fundamentalist eco-loon but, yes, yet another of those secretly evil, white middle-class males who make our world such a terrifyingly dangerous place.

Anyway, I’ve only seen part one of Blood and Oil (BBC2, Monday) and, though all of the above may yet hold true with part two, I’m enjoying it immensely so far.

(to read more, click here)

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If I could go back in time to my Oxford days, I’d warn myself against idolising Cameron | James Delingpole

April 8, 2010

How odd to think that there was a time when I looked up to David Cameron. From the moment we were introduced at the beginning of my second year at Oxford, I remember being mesmerised by his confidence, his charisma, his looks, that amused plummy accent and — yes — perhaps, also, that slight vibe so many Etonians projected in those days that if you hadn’t been to ‘School’ you really weren’t quite the thing. It all made you want to get to know him better. Which I did. And I very much liked what I found.

If you’d told me then that David Cameron would one day be prime minister, I’m sure I would have been tickled pink. I didn’t know what his politics were but I had my vague suspicions: a belief in traditional English values spiced with a love of liberty and a healthy disrespect for arbitrary authority; almost certainly a distrust of big government and a hatred of political correctness and joyless, snarling, bitter socialism. Just the kind of brave captain you’d want at the helm if ever there was another national crisis.

But now look at him… (to read more, click here)

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General Election 2010: My mate Dave…

Dave and his wife Sam meet supporters in London today (Photo: Reuters)

Dave and his wife Sam meet supporters in London today (Photo: Reuters)

“Every time a friend succeeds I die a little,” said Gore Vidal.

Not a problem I’m going to be having any time soon with my old Oxford chum David Cameron, as you’ll see from my You Know It Makes Sense column in this week’s Spectator.

Here is a guy who had the chance of a lifetime: he could have gone down in history as the man who saved Britain from its greatest crisis since the second world war. He could have rescued our economy, restored our national sense of self-worth, given us back our stolen liberty, rolled back the state, regained our sovereignty, slashed taxes and red tape, stemmed the tide of immigration, clamped down on Islamist aggression and undone all the damage that has been inflicted on us by Blair and Brown.

And what’s he offering instead? Some nice photographs taken ten years ago showing just how fit his wife is. The exciting news that Sam is pregnant. A big poster of a young black woman saying she wouldn’t have voted Conservative before but now she will because Britain’s Broken. Another one showing how baby-soft and pink Dave’s cheeks are. Have I missed anything? Not a lot. Cameron’s future claim to fame will surely be as a prime minister so floppy and useless he makes Ted Heath look like Winston Churchill.

If you want more in that vein, read the piece. It’s the last anti-Cameron stuff you’re getting me before the election. (Unless of course, he does something quite egregiously stupid, in which case all promises are suspended.) Why? Because like the mighty Lord Tebbit I agree that however much we all loathe these despicable, Saul-Alinsky-loving Fabian faux-Tories, they are nonetheless our least worst option in this General Election.

Everyone in their heart knows this, which is why I make a prediction – as indeed I have been predicting for some time – that the Conservatives are going to win with a decent working majority. They don’t deserve it, they haven’t earned it. But the cynical calculation that Team Dave has made is right: serious conservatives, for the most part, have nowhere else to go. For all our blustering about how cross we are and how we’re going to punish the Tories at the polls, the fact is that when the moment of truth comes in the polling booth, our consideration above all else will be: don’t let those New Labour b******s get into power again.

There are a few exceptions to this rule – Tory MPs you shouldn’t vote for, no matter what. But let us save them for another column.