Too Much White Privilege at BAFTAs, Complain Prince William and Joaquin Phoenix

Britain's Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, (L) and Britain's Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, (R) arrive at the BAFTA British Academy Film Awards at the Royal Albert Hall in London on February 2, 2020. (Photo by Tolga AKMEN / AFP) (Photo by TOLGA AKMEN/AFP via Getty Images)
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Joaquin Phoenix and Prince William both last night criticised the British Academy of Film and Television Awards (BAFTAs) for not being ‘diverse’ enough.

But which of these two idiots should win the award for Most Fatuous Remark by a Celebrity Pillock at an Awards Ceremony No One Really Cares About Because It’s Just a Poor Man’s Oscars?

It’s a tricky one.

If the award is based on virtue-signalling hypocrisy then it should go to Joaquin Phoenix.

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How I plan to win a Bafta

TV

I’ve nearly finished my latest screenplay, Drift.

It’s a reimagining of a British imperial atrocity which took place in Natal in 1879 and was subsequently made into a disgracefully jingoistic 1964 movie, and despite its problematic subject matter — the bad guys won — I reckon it will be a shoo-in for an award at the new-look, diversity–compliant Bafta.

Idris Elba will play the Michael Caine role, obviously; I’m thinking Lenny Henry as Lieutenant Chard, and the cast of Top Boy as the various VC-winning NCOs and men of the 24th of Foot. The Zulus will all be played by actual Zulus because anything else would be cultural appropriation, but one Impi will be in a wheelchair and another will be entirely transgender to emphasise their stunning bravery.

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