Environmentalists have discovered the two new things most likely to turn the planet into a molten orb of glowing red climate death.
By awful coincidence, they happen to be the same two things that men enjoy doing perhaps more than anything in the world (at least when their wives or girlfriends aren’t looking.)
a) making vast sums of money out of exceedingly risky and speculative cryptocurrency trading when all the experts are saying it’s like 17th century Dutch Tulipmania, only with rocket boosters and sprinkled with essence of Enron, Sub-Prime Mortgages and the South Sea Bubble.
b) looking at screen pictures of purty, naked ladies and re-enacting the scene in South Park where the internet is banned and Randy breaks into the trailer housing the very last computer console still connected to Pornhub…
Yep. They’re not joking. Bitcoin and porn are the two latest things which, experts tell us, are causing “global warming”.
First, porn. According to this groundbreaking investigation in The Atlantic, pornography is causing even more danger to the planet than it did in the days when it simply involved cutting down forests to make glossy paper for dirty magazines.
Eighteen climate scientists, 13 of them from the U.S., are emigrating to France to take advantage of President Macron’s $70 million publicity stunt to embarrass President Trump scheme to save climate science from evil, right-wing deniers.
As I reported earlier this year, Macron announced the scheme on his Facebook page in February – even before he knew he’d won the French presidential election – perhaps as some kind of anti-Trump trolling exercise:
“This is a message for American researchers, entrepreneurs, engineers working on climate change…I do know how your new president has decided to jeopardize your budget, your initiatives as he is extremely skeptical about climate change. I have no doubt about climate change… Please come to France. You are welcome. It’s your nation. We like innovation. We want innovative people. We want people working on climate change, energy, renewables, and new technologies. France is your nation.”
And now France’s hard-pressed taxpayers are going to have to pay for his idle boast.
“The selected projects are of very high standards and deal with issues that are particularly important,” the jury said in a statement, noting its members had received a total of 1,822 applications, of which 1,123 came from the US. A second round of laureates will be announced “during the course of the spring of 2018”, it said.
Naturally, those selected have seized the opportunity to wail about the decline of climate research opportunities in the Trump administration.
Melissa McCarthy and Jennifer Aniston have dealt climate skeptics a blow from which they may never recover… a sketch onJimmy Kimmel Live on Thursday suggesting that not believing in climate change is the same as not believing in gravity.
The sketch begins with McCarthy, hilariously dressed as a menorah, to hide the comedy fat suit she is wearing underneath.
McCarthy explains that the “really smart people” know that “global warming” is a “ruse invented by the Illuminati.”
But, she goes on, there’s an even bigger issue facing our planet which “the Mainstream Media doesn’t want you to hear about” and which they say is “Settled Science.” People who disagree that this is a problem are called “Duh-Nye-Urz.”
McCarthy is talking, she says, about the fact that gravity does not exist.
Alarmist scientists have been caught red-handed tampering with raw data in order to exaggerate sea level rise.
The raw (unadjusted) data from three Indian Ocean gauges – Aden, Karachi and Mumbai – showed that local sea level trends in the last 140 years had been very gently rising, neutral or negative (ie sea levels had fallen).
But after the evidence had been adjusted by tidal records gatekeepers at the global databank Permanent Service for Mean Sea Level (PSMSL) it suddenly showed a sharp and dramatic rise.
The whistle was blown by two Australian scientists Dr. Albert Parker and Dr. Clifford Ollier in a paper for Earth Systems and Environment.
The authors expose how PSMSL data-adjusters make it appear that stable sea levels can be rendered to look like they are nonetheless rising at an accelerated pace.
The data-adjusters take misaligned and incomplete sea level data from tide gauges that show no sea level rise (or even a falling trend). Then, they subjectively and arbitrarily cobble them together, or realign them. In each case assessed, PSMSL data-adjusters lower the earlier misaligned rates and raise the more recent measurements. By doing so, they concoct a new linearly-rising trend.
If you really want to understand the great global warming scam you must listen to my podcast this week with Rupert Darwall.
In his new book Green Tyranny, Darwall tells a story so extraordinary and implausible that it’s no wonder most of the mainstream media has been too scared to touch it.
The bottom line: it all started with the Nazis.
Yes, I know. It sounds so click-baity, doesn’t it?
That’ll be why even those journals and writers that have reviewed the book favorably have tended to steer clear of the key chapter in Darwall’s book. The one mischievously titled ‘Europe’s First Greens’.
Europe’s First Greens were, of course, the Nazis.
The documentary evidence provided by Darwall is irrefutable, for this is a considered, well-researched and scholarly work not a potboiler.
What Darwall demonstrates is that the ideology driving the current climate scare originated in Hitler’s Germany.
Angela Merkel’s Energiewende, the brainwashing of your kids in school with green propaganda,the Climate Industrial Complex, the black outs in South Australia, Solyndra, Obama promising that electricity prices would “necessarily skyrocket”, the bat-chomping bird-slicing eco-crucifixes destroying a skyline near you, the real reason Trump just had to pull the U.S. out of the Paris climate accord – it’s all basically the fault of the Nazis.
Just when you thought it was safe to fire up the Hummer, there comes some devastating news from our friends in the climate change industry.
Global warming may be making bearded dragons more stupid.
No really, this is not a joke.
Obviously you’re praying that it is because the last thing any of us would want – dear God, anything but that – would be for arguably the world’s most popular and friendly, frilly-necked reptilian pet from Australia to be dropping a few IQ points as a result of man’s selfishness, greed and refusal to change his carbon-guzzling lifestyle.
Pharrell Williams has issued the starkest celebrity warning yet on the perils of climate change by flying to China and burying his new record in a vault where it will remain hidden for 100 years.
That will show those pesky deniers!
The record is called “100 Years.” But it is unlikely to repeat the success of his previous hits, such as “Happy,” because Williams has recorded it on an apparently unplayable disc made of clay, which will remain hidden for the next century.
According to AP News, this completely normal ceremony, which in no way suggests that Pharrell Williams has totally lost the plot, was witnessed by numbers of special guests who had been flown into Shanghai for the occasion.
At the exclusive pre-release, all guests were instructed to turn off their phones and lock them in bulky metal boxes so that no one could leak the song. Pharrell showed off the track he had recorded onto a record made from clay. Explaining that the record would be placed in a vault that was destructible only by water, he made a clear connection with climate change and rising sea levels.
“If we don’t, as a species, if we don’t do what we are supposed to do, we lose the track but we also lose the planet,” he said.
The mood lightened when the audience watched as Williams attempted to play the record for the only time before its official release in 2117. After he struggled to get the record to play, participants wondered whether anyone in 100 years would know how to play the record — if it survives.
Still, the important thing was that it gave Williams the chance to deliver a tough, uncompromising message about Donald Trump, ‘pseudoscientists’ and the louring menace of climate change.
Several studies released by the Global Carbon Project say worldwide carbon emissions are projected to jump about 2 percent this year after staying flat for three years, according to preliminary estimates.
The culprit, the data show, is China, which has kept its emissions in check in recent years but now shows a massive rise in pollution. Under the Paris pact, China agreed to cap its emissions by 2030, meaning it is still free to increase pollution.
China’s uptick this year, after a 1 percent drop in 2015 and flat emissions last year, is largely a result of the country’s increased use of fossil fuels.
This is very bad news if you believe in the man-made global warming fairy.
But it’s great news if you’re Donald Trump. It means that his decision to pull out of the UN Paris Accord is vindicated – and for all the reasons he gave.
For example, under the agreement, China will be able to increase these emissions by a staggering number of years — 13. They can do whatever they want for 13 years. Not us. India makes its participation contingent on receiving billions and billions and billions of dollars in foreign aid from developed countries. There are many other examples. But the bottom line is that the Paris Accord is very unfair, at the highest level, to the United States.
Further, while the current agreement effectively blocks the development of clean coal in America — which it does, and the mines are starting to open up. We’re having a big opening in two weeks. Pennsylvania, Ohio, West Virginia, so many places. A big opening of a brand-new mine. It’s unheard of. For many, many years, that hasn’t happened. They asked me if I’d go. I’m going to try.
China will be allowed to build hundreds of additional coal plants. So we can’t build the plants, but they can, according to this agreement. India will be allowed to double its coal production by 2020. Think of it: India can double their coal production. We’re supposed to get rid of ours. Even Europe is allowed to continue construction of coal plants.
Exactly. The Paris Accord was a bad deal for the U.S. It would have needlessly handled a huge competitive advantage to economies like India and China, while doing next to nothing – actually, let’s be honest, nothing – to combat climate change.
Environmental activists should stop talking about global warming because no one cares. Instead they should talk about stuff that tugs at the heart strings, like cancer, kids with asthma, and “25,000 people dying every day from pollution.”
He said: “People do not focus as much on 2 degrees energy increases in temperatures or increases in sea levels rising.”
Schwarzenegger thinks calling attention to concrete issues, like “so many people having problems with cancer and kids with asthma,” is a better approach.
And in propaganda terms, he is absolutely right. In fact, Arnie displays such an excellent understanding of the black arts here, he could almost be channelling his most infamous former compatriot, Adolf Hitler.
In Mein Kampf – which Arnie’s old Nazi dad must surely have encouraged him to read, when the young future Terminator wasn’t too busy pumping iron or frolicking around the Alpine meadows, herding goats, yodelling Edelweiss and playing with his enormous Alpenhorn –Hitler stresses the importance of the große Lüge: the Big Lie.
“Don’t waste time on the little lies,” Hitler advised [I paraphrase loosely]. “Instead, tell a whopper so huge that nobody would ever imagine you could have had the audacity to make it up.”
Schwarzenegger’s “25,000 people dying every day from pollution” would have done the Fuhrer proud!
Yay! Be proud, America and relish your splendid isolation! You are, officially, the only nation among the thousands of air-mile-collecting delegates at this year’s U.N. climate conference in Bonn, Germany which hasn’t signed up to the Paris Climate Accord.
You and I might think that this a good thing: America, Land of the Free – the last bastion of common sense, the final redoubt of Western Civilization in a world all but overwhelmed by the green lunacy of the Climate Industrial Complex.
But there are plenty of enemies within still seeking to undermine U.S. independence.
It doesn’t matter that President Trump pulled the U.S. out of the Paris Climate Accord, these quislings are now claiming: individual U.S. cities and states can go ahead and decarbonize their economies, for all the world as if it were that crooked uranium saleswoman sitting in the Oval Office instead of the Donald.
Among the Green Blobbers leading the green insurgency, according to the Washington Examiner, are Michael Bloomberg, Sen. Ed Markey and California Governor Jerry Brown.