My Horrible, Horrible Encounter with a ‘Rape Culture’ Cry Bully at Cambridge University

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Reeeeeeeeeeee!
Truly it’s horrible and unnerving to fall victim to a point and shriek assault by an hysterical, vengeful, feminist Social Justice Warrior.

It happened to me the other day at Cambridge University. For more details, see here, but I’ll give you the short version:

I’d given an after dinner speech at the university’s Conservative Association (CUCA). Safe territory, I had thought, to rail against the lunacies of political correctness before a sympathetic audience.

As an example, I mentioned the compulsory consent classes you now have to attend as a first-year undergraduate (generally presided over by embarrassed second-years) in which you are lectured on how rape is a bad thing. Then later I made a flippant reference to Jimmy Savile and Rolf Harris. [Non-British readers should know that these were successful children’s TV celebrities of the 70s and 80s, later revealed to be predatory sex offenders.]

To say it went down like a cup of cold sick would be an understatement. Several of the alleged “conservatives” at the dinner walked out in protest. (Though I do wonder whether some of them might have been plants or entryists who’d gone specifically to be offended so that they could make a political point afterwards.) One visibly distraught girl – escorted by her hissing mate – called out: “Disgusting!” as she left.

Read the rest at Breitbart.

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Great News, Barbara Socrates–Oxford University Has Feminized Its Philosophy Course

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How many feminists does it take to ruin a philosophy course?
Oxford University will be letting you know shortly, once it has got the results of its latest politically correct academic experiment.

From now on, Oxford’s philosophy faculty has decreed, 40 percent of the recommended authors on its departmental reading lists must be female.

Also, academic staff have been asked to use philosophers’ first names rather than their initials when compiling reading lists, to make it clearer to undergraduates which ones are female.

This is great news for Barbara Socrates, Mandy Aristotle, Seraphina Wittgenstein, Nancy Descartes, Fifi Trixibelle Locke, Suzi Nietzsche, Bobbi Confucius, Ermintrude Plato, and Petronella Hume, to name but a few of the awesome female philosophical intellects who have been cruelly neglected by history because sexism, misogyny, and the oppressive phallocentric hegemony.

No, not really – I jest. In fact every one on the list of great philosophers I have named was a bloke.

So too were: Spinoza, Leibniz, Kant, Marx, Hegel, Marcus Aurelius, St Augustine, St Thomas Aquinas, Diderot, Machiavelli, Montesquieu, Pascal, Rousseau, Schopenhauer, Mill, de Tocqueville, and Voltaire.

Read the rest at Breitbart.

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Handbags, Chocolates, Housework – My Tips for a Happy Women’s Day

Happy International Women’s Day, Girls. As a member of the only sex on earth that loves you and cares about you and isn’t secretly plotting to undermine you at every turn, I’d like to offer you some pro tips on how to get the most of this very special day

Don’t Go On A March

Why would you go on a march? Marches are, like, ew. They play havoc with your feet if you’re wearing heels; the noise – all that shrieking and chanting and screeching – is like the extra, hot-floored room in hell where they keep all the cats; the preponderance of blue hair and voluminous cellulite is simply unspeakable. And anyway, what exactly are you protesting against? Basically, you won. Enjoy it!

Celebrate Your Victory

What victory? Why only the fact that if you were born a woman in the West you won life’s lottery. Apart from having longer orgasms and a longer lifespan than men and basically – secretly – being in charge of men, you get more favourable treatment in the courts, you’re more likely to go to university, you benefit from positive discrimination in the workplace and, of course, from the fact that the pay gap is a myth.

Buy a Handbag; or Some Chocolate; or go to a Spa; or Whatever

Seriously, just do whatever the hell makes you happy and gets you off our case. Sure we (men, that is) may pretend to be shocked when you let slip just how much you paid for that small, shiny leather carrying device with the handles on it and that which clearly matters to you so very, very much. But we’re not. We’re just relieved a) because it means we’re now spared the horror of having to choose one for you ourselves (and inevitably getting it wrong because we just don’t get handbags, we just don’t, OK?) and b) if you’re happy we’re happy. A man is only as happy as his least happy child, they say. This applies, with knobs on, to his wives and girlfriends.

Have a Drink. But just the One…

Bad men like drunk girls because they’re easy prey. But really, it’s not a good look. In fact, apart from the blue hair and the let-yourself-go body fat, possibly the very worst consequence of modern feminism is this idea that girls have a right to get just as drunk and behave just as outrageously and boorishly as boys. I think the notion of such a “right” would be more defensible if it came with an acceptance of the consequences. For example, there has been a spate of court cases in Britain – brought by our feminazi Crown Prosecution Service – in which perfectly innocent young men have been dragged into the dock and charged with rape on account of complaints by drunken young missies who led them on and later changed their minds once they’d sobered up slightly. Not fair. Not fair, at all. Most recent victim is Lewis Tappenden, 24, who nearly went to prison and whose reputation was ruined because of a false accusation by an 18-year old student who told friends that she was going “out to pull” but who decided after the event “I just wasn’t in to it.” Allison Pearson is well worth reading on this…

Read the rest at Breitbart.

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Why is Britain Dishing out Honours to Low Grade Twitter trolls?

Historians will never cease arguing about when it was that Western Civilization began – Sumer? Salamis? After the Fall of Rome?

But not one of them will be in the slightest doubt from this week onwards as to when it was that Western Civilization ended.

Indeed, they will be able to pinpoint its demise down not just to the day but to the very hour the announcement was made. I refer, of course, to the extraordinary Gavrilo-Princip-style moment when some very dangerous and out-of-control mad person somehow got their shaking, sweating hands on the controls and decided it would be a good idea to award an OBE to someone called Caroline Criado Perez.

To help future historians I thought I’d provide a contemporary record of this momentous event using the traditional early 21st century medium of an internet Q & A.

Q: So we’re all very clear now, we historians here in your future, that Western Civilization definitely ended when Caroline Criado Perez was awarded an OBE. But though we’ve searched our extensive archives, which includes every article written or published, and every tweet ever tweeted – including the deleted ones by Johann Hari claiming to have personally transcribed all Shakespeare’s plays as they were dictated to him by the author – we seem quite unable to find anyone by that name of any significance. The only Caroline Criado Perez in our records appears to be some kind of desperate, attention-seeking, political activist cum low-rent blogger.

A: Yes. That’s the one.

Q: Then we can only assume that her OBE wasn’t the OBE but some similarly-named bauble of no significance.

A: Er, no. It’s the OBE. As in Order of the British Empire.

Q: Quite impossible! We’ve studied the history of the British Empire and it was kind of a big deal. We’ve read about Queen Victoria and Clive of India and the Charge of the Light Brigade and Scott of the Antarctic and Rorke’s Drift and the White Man’s Burden and all the incredible economic and scientific and intellectual advances that were made as a result of the money, power and influence which accrued from the Empire where the sun never set. So when you award one of your Queen’s subjects a medal named the Order of the British Empire that’s got to be a pretty big deal right? You’re not going to just hand it over willy nilly, to some hysterical, twittering, publicity-grubbing nobody?

A: So the more old-fashioned among us would have hoped, certainly.

Q: No. No! You have GOT TO BE JOKING. We know our history, we historians of the future, and one of things we know is that the Beatles – who are, only, like, the most famous pop band in the history of the universe – when they got their awards they weren’t even OBEs. They were MBEs. Which is one notch below. You’re not seriously telling us that between 1965 – when John, Paul, George and Ringo got their MBEs – and 2015, when Caroline Criado Perez got her OBE, that your culture became so grotesquely debased that some jumped up feminist troll was deemed superior in value and achievement to the creators of Eleanor Rigby, Strawberry Fields Forever, Helter Skelter and (our personal favourite in the future) Octopus’s Garden? Really?

A: Now you’re beginning to grasp this End of Western Civilization thing.

Q: OK. OK. Just to recap, so that we’re SURE we’re talking about the same woman. This Caroline Criado Perez’s most memorable achievement was launching a campaign to get the head of Jane Austen on a banknote. Not because Jane Austen was maybe the greatest novelist in the English language – which we could understand – but just to make the cheapshot feminist point that Jane Austen had a vagina whereas Dickens and Trollope didn’t?

A: You do sound refreshing un-PC in the future, I must say.

Q: Yeah well. We had to change. It was the only way we could start trying to recreate Western Civilization once this Caroline Criado Perez person had killed it. But look, we’re asking the questions here. We’re future historians. We NEED TO KNOW because there’s something about this whole banknote think that has been troubling us. Are we right in thinking that the person on the other side of the banknote was also female?

A: Yes. The Queen.

Q: But this Caroline Criado Perez felt, what, that was “sexist” or something? That only total domination of your banknotes by the female sex would do?

A: “Gender”. She would have preferred the term “gender.”

Q: Crikey, she sounds tiresome.

A: I think she would have considered that kind of language patriarchal, phallocentric and dismissive.

Q: I bet she would, the minx.

A: Wow! I’m loving this future of ours already.

Q: You say that. But you have no idea the horror the planet has to go through in order to get where we are. Fireships off the shoulder of Orion, my arse. We are talking ugly, ugly, ugly. Mind you, having said that, nothing quite as ugly as the awarding of the OBE to this annoying uber-talentless rabblerousing flibbertigibbet. Which is why I’ve got one more important question for you.

A: Go on.

Q: Well, it’s like this. Our records show that when the Beatles got their MBEs many earlier recipients of the award were so disgusted that they handed their gongs back in protest. Yet, we seem to have no evidence that Caroline Criado Perez’s OBE provoked a similar outbreak of high principle.

A: So your question is what exactly?

Q: Well it’s more of a rhetorical one, really. What can have happened to your culture that it became so vapid, spineless and worthless so quickly? Since when did you become so obsessed with this “equality” crap that it was allowed to trump all the things that once made Western Civilization great: your history, your traditions, your values, your heroic achievements, your quest for truth, beauty, wisdom, excellence?

Read at Breitbart London

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Girls Don’t Need Body Confidence and Be the Change Badges. They Do Need to Know How to Cook, Bake and Sew

The new head of the Girl Guides (or ‘Girl Scouts’ as they are known in the US) has boasted of the fact that she’s rubbish at cooking and said that if she were a girl joining the organisation today the badge she’d most covet would be one that celebrates Body Confidence.

Oh dear. I think I’ve just gone and qualified for an achievement badge of my own. The Projectile Involuntary Peristalsis Badge (With Oak Leaf Cluster).

Julie Bentley, who took over the Girl Guides last year, was being interviewed on BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs. We learned that despite never having been a Brownie or a Girl Guide herself, and despite never having done a proper job remotely connected with the kind of outdoorsy, hearty, briskly demanding activities in which the Brownies and Guides used to specialise, Ms Bentley nevertheless has very forthright views on the organisation’s purpose.

“It is not about itchy brown uniforms and sewing and baking. It is a modern, contemporary, vibrant organisation.”

I’m sorry to hear that Ms Bentley wants to dismiss “sewing and baking” as belonging to an antediluvian past which has no place in the “modern, contemporary, vibrant” Girl Guides.

Ms Bentley doesn’t sound like the kind of person who much enjoys physical exercise, but if only she’d summoned up the will to press one of her fingers onto her TV remote in the last few years one thing she might have noticed is a very popular programme called The Great British Bake Off.

Lots of girls manage to watch this programme without being oppressed by its apparently old-fashioned, uncontemporary, non-vibrant message that baking is a desirable and fun skill to acquire. Indeed, many have been inspired to take up competitive home baking as a result – again, without any obvious jeopardy to their female self-esteem.

Read the rest at Breitbart London

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Offensive Remarks on Twitter Should Not Be Punishable by Prison, Let Alone Death

Should trolls who say disobliging things about people on Twitter face imprisonment or death?

Well the answer is now in and, depressingly, it appears to be “yes”.

Today, we read the news that a woman who tweeted under the name “@sweepyface” has been found dead in her hotel room, after having had her identity publicly exposed on television as the author of some unpleasant tweets about the parents of the missing child Madeleine McCann.

A week ago, we saw a man named Peter Nunn jailed for 18 weeks for sending a series of abusive tweets to Labour MP Stella Creasy.

Well I’ve read some of Nunn’s tweets and they’re really not nice.

One of them (a retweet, rather than something he thought up himself) says: “You better watch your back, I’m going to rape your arse at 8pm and put the video all over.”

Horrid.

So yes I think we can all probably agree that Nunn sounds a bit of a warped individual – well in line with that recent study from Canada which suggested that trolls tend to have cruel, psychopathic, Machiavellian personalities.

But where, I suspect, the more sane among us would differ from Stella Creasy and the presiding judge is over the idea that being an unpleasant piece of work ought to be a crime punishable by a prison sentence.

Nunn was found guilty by the judge of “sending indecent, obscure or menacing messages” which, according to the prosecution, had had a “substantial” effect on Creasy who felt “increasing concern that individuals were seeking not only to cause her distress but also to cause her real harm which led her to fear for her own safety.”

I suppose if I were shallow and vindictive enough to want someone put away for being rude about me on social media that would be the line I’d take too. Probably, I might also claim – as feminist campaigner Caroline Criado-Perez did in a supporting statement – that the “fear and horror” generated by these nasty tweets had given me “dizzy spells.” Why stop at mere offence and upset, after all, when you can up the ante to actual physical symptoms?

But I’m not that shallow and vindictive and, even if I were, I simply don’t think I’d have the brazen hypocrisy, the moral dishonesty, and the naked cynicism to pursue such an utterly dishonest case.

Read the rest at Breitbart London

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The World Needs Caroline Criado-Perez’s Airheaded Feminism like a Fish Needs a Bicycle

Did you know that domestic abuse is the most common cause of morbidity [sickness] in women aged 19 to 44, more than war, cancer or motor vehicle accidents?

No, very probably, you didn’t because it’s just not true. Rather it’s one of those urban myths which has been doing the rounds on the internet since the 1990s and which has been exploded on numerous occasions, including by the BBC Radio 4 statistics show More Or Less as long ago as 2009.

But obviously that wasn’t going to stop feminist campaigner Caroline Criado-Perez employing it to prove her ‘point’ in a recent article for the New Statesman. The piece – called something like “The Moon is a Rapist” or “If trees are a phallocentric symbol of male aggression (and they are) why don’t we kill all the forests now?” – purported to tell us about an “epidemic” of sexual violence which has apparently gone unreported in the phallocentric, sexist media.

Problem is, apart from the fabricated and antique statisticoid, there wasn’t exactly a superabundance of factual evidence to support Ms Criado-Perez’s thesis.

Happily a sharp-eyed masochist with an appetite for reading Ms Criado-Perez’s article spotted the error. And when the New Statesman showed reluctance to remove the offending inaccuracy, he complained to the Press Complaints Commission. Two weeks after the article was published, the New Statesman relented and removed the paragraph.

Read more at Breitbart London

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