Brexit: Shakespeare Was Dead Right About Lawyers…

Dan Kitwood/Getty
“Kill all the lawyers.”

This has got to be my favourite line from Shakespeare – especially after the British High Court’s decision on the EU Referendum whereby a trio of left-leaning activist judges were able to overturn the democratic will of 17.4 million people by ruling: “No. That thing you all voted for. You can’t have it because obscure technical detail…”

Some cynics saw this coming a mile off, among them the redoubtable Peter Hitchens.

Before the referendum he correctly predicted what he now calls “the greatest constitutional crisis since the Abdication of Edward VIII.”

If – as I think we will – we vote to leave the EU on June 23, a democratically elected Parliament, which wants to stay, will confront a force as great as itself – a national vote, equally democratic, which wants to quit. Are we about to find out what actually happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?’

I’m not as pessimistic as Peter Hitchens, partly because no one ever could be, and partly because I don’t want to give succour to the enemy.

Face it, we Brexiteers have enjoyed more than four deliriously happy months bathing in bitter Remainer tears, feeding on their sorrow like misery-sucking vampires, relishing every moment of their denials, their tantrums, their toys-cast-from-prams. So it’s only natural that with the roles temporarily reversed, the Remaintards should seize their brief moment in the sun and begin crowing as if somehow those three lefty ponces in ermine (or whatever it is that left-wing High Court Judges wear: thongs? Gimp suits?) were now going to stop us exiting the EU.

What’s very important, though, in these circumstances is for us not to show we’re upset, like the Remaintards have been doing since June 24. As I delicately put it on Twitter yesterday, they’re already beating themselves off pretty frenziedly as it is – and the very last thing we should do is give them any more masturbatory material.

Anyway, I interrupted myself: the real purpose of this piece was to use a topical news item about Brexit as an excuse to reiterate how much I loathe and detest lawyers.

Some of them, it’s true, are my best friends – but that’s pretty inevitable if you’re university educated: of course lots of your contemporaries will inevitably have gone to the dark side. But doesn’t mean that I don’t view their profession in much the way I view the giant orange slugs that destroy my vegetable patch or the evil squirrels which insinuate their way into my fruit cage and eat my strawberries or the fungal infections I sometimes get between my toes or the swollen mite with a mauve body and purple legs I once found clinging to my left testicle in a bucket shower in the Western Sudan in 1984. And at least with a bit of soap and gentle easing I got rid of the mite; at least I can squash the slugs and decapitate the squirrels in my squirrel trap. Lawyers on the other hand just won’t go away…

Which is as good a way as any of introducing my latest Breitbart podcast with this week’s guest Gary Bell.

Read the rest at Breitbart.

There Will Never Be Justice If We Leave It to Lawyers

The big question this week is: ‘Should Giles Coren be bound, gagged, shackled and sentenced to life imprisonment in the torture block of the sexual offenders’ wing of Black Beach maximum security prison in Equatorial Guinea, there to become the plaything of Mad “Mamba” Mbigawanga, the Man-Rapist Giant of Malabo?’

Well, obviously, when you put it like that, the answer’s obvious.

We all hate Coren, those of us who know him, those of us in the media especially, because his very existence is such a maddening repudiation to one of the precious few consolations in this vale of tears: that real talent goes unrewarded.

Look at Jeremy Clarke. OK, so he has a Speccie column rightly worshipped by those in the know, among them Hugh Grant, apparently. But it’s not like Jeremy Clarke’s a household name, is it? He hasn’t got one of those stupidly paid mega-columns in the Mail or the Times. He doesn’t get fish-finger manufacturers ringing him saying, ‘Please Jeremy, please be the next Cap’n Birdseye and allow us to buy you a fleet of BMWs.’ He doesn’t get a 60,000-plus Twitter following just by swearing a lot and telling us what he had for lunch at his latest blowout with his new chum Michael Winner. He doesn’t get paid to go on primetime TV series where all he has to do is eat and get drunk and burp for Britain’s entire male student population to want to give up shaving so that they can all be that little bit more like him.

(to read more, click here)

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2 thoughts on “There will never be justice if we leave it to lawyers”

  1. Nige Cook says:31st May 2011 at 9:35 am“The one great principle of the English law is, to make business for itself. There is no other principle distinctly, certainly, and consistently maintained through all its narrow turnings. Viewed by this light it becomes a coherent scheme, and not the monstrous maze the laity are apt to think it. Let them but once clearly perceive that its grand principle is to make business for itself at their expense, and surely they will cease to grumble.”

    – Charles Dickens (novelist and ex-law court reporter), Bleak House, Chapter 39, http://www.online-literature.com/dickens/bleakhouse/40/

  2. Velocity says:9th June 2011 at 12:04 amWell said Nige ….or well put Charles Dickens

    The Law is an arse… like Govt we never needed this pompous rediculous man-made edifice …whoever thought we need a bunch of old farts in wigs and 2 sides of fee-feeding parasites (that’ll be lawyers) to administer ‘justice’ (which in truth just retribution) is living in LaLa Land

    the West is disappearing up its own arse with these institutions none of which do what they say on the can and are in fact just instruments of oppression of the people for the elite

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