Ah Bejaysus and Begorrah! Oi’ll be swearin’ boi the auld shrine to the Vorgin with the shamrocks growin’ round it next to the hill where Cuchullain slew the Great Leprechaun of Kildare on St Patrick’s Day that Barack Seamus O’Toole Flaherty Joyce O’Bama is the most Irish US president that ever set foot on the Emerald Oisle, so he is, so he is.
Except, when hes in Africa, of course, when he disappears into the dry ice and re-emerges with a grass skirt and a bone through his nose and declares himself to be Mandingo, Prince of the Bloodline of the Bonga People, Drinker of Cattle Urine, Father of a Thousand Warrior Sons, Keeper of King Solomon’s Mines, Barehanded Slayer of Lions, Undaunted Victim of the Evil Colonial British Empire.
And in the Middle East, where he is Al-Barak Hussein Obama, Protector of the Holy Shrine, Smiter of the Kuffar, Lion of the Desert, Tent-Loving-Aficionado-of-the-Oversweetened-Coffee, Chomper of Sheeps Eyeballs, Restorer of the Caliphate.
Tony Blair used to do this trick too, his accent mutating from broad Glaswegian to genteel Edinburgh to Mummerset to Estuary to Richard E Grant to Sarf London Grime often in the course of one Downing Street reception the better to persuade his target audience that he was their kind of guy. And it is, of course, the hallmark of an unutterable charlatan.
I’ve argued before that Tony Blair and Barack Obama have an awful lot in common. Both are lawyers; both are snake-oil-salesman; both claim to be post-partisan, and Third Way and consensual; both play the acceptable, moderate-seeming public face of a regime chock full of Communists, class warriors, single issue rabble rousers, malcontents, communitarians and eco-loons hell bent on destroying every last vestige of what once made their country great. And both do (or did) the things dodgy political leaders always do when the going gets tough at home and their domestic audience finally wises up to how totally useless they are: they hop on the plane and pose as international statesman instead.
My colleague Damian Thompson appears to be under the impression that Obama is a great guy because he said nice things about the Queen. Look, I think the Queen’s great too, but did it really not occur to my distinguished colleague (and editor) that there might have been a hint of an ulterior motive here? Obama can’t stand Britain (his wife likes us even less): he made that clear enough when he sent back Winston Churchill’s bust and dissed our Prime Minister with those dodgy DVDS. He blames us for what happened to his grandfather during Mau Mau. He doesn’t believe in the Special Relationship. Are we honestly supposed to believe in that during the subsequent year in office, Obama has since acquired such wisdom and insight that he suddenly realises how special we are?
Of course he hasn’t. Obama is just doing now what all bullies and losers start doing when they realise how unpopular they are and that everyone is abandoning them. They suck up to anybody and everybody. They whore themselves piteously before enemies they once considered beneath their contempt. Fain will they fill their bellies with husks that swine eat but which no man will give them: and serve them jolly well right, too!
By all means let us enjoy watching Obama smarm and grovel and ingratiate himself like some presidential Uriah Heep. But for heaven’s sake let us never give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s a cold fish and would certainly never show any mercy towards us were the roles to be reversed.
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25 thoughts on “O’Bama? Oh puh-lease!”
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Superlative,-but I think he could be the new St paul ,if we are not careful.
I heard more Farsi than English the last time I visited London. The only resistance I saw to the plague of political correctness came in the form of a rather gruff Scot. He marched down the stairs of a number 52 bus (the last one that evening) and came to the defense of a man who had sprinted to catch it and has being berated in barely intelligible English by the Pakistani ticket man. Myself and another American stood up and supported him and the man got to stay and catch his ride home. What amazed me was the shock on the faces of the other Brits – they were actually embarrassed that the Scot had dared to say something to the Pakistani. Sad, really.
Furthermore, it seemed like everywhere I went people were actively defending this slow decline into mediocrity. Even in Wales (unbelievably), there was blatant kowtowing to the new world order. I was able to actually locate some old school Brits in Salisbury, and felt like I’d gone back to 1968 or so. So I know there are probably some over there yet.
For the past 10 years I’ve watched the signs here in the USA. We are headed down the same path as you lot, and we haven’t bothered to consult history. Our cities are becoming third world mini-nations, and what was once a melting pot has become a salad bowl. Otherwise intelligent people are buying into the socialistic rhetoric and there doesn’t seem to be any way to stop this decline.
Obviously, the blame falls squarely on the hippies. I was just a kid in the 60s, but even to me it was obvious the world was changing.
Keep up the fight.
Where on the IOW?
I too was a child of the 60s, and regard the Island as a cultural paradise at that time. The Island has NEVER returned a socialist MP, and I think the absence of that religion had left us in that sublime state.
These days however, the change by political subversion is painful to witness, like the ravishing of the shire, in middle-earth; there were 8,000 votes for the socialist candidate in the last election here! Total treachery.
Back then I stayed mostly in Shanklin, where my aunt and uncle had a small bungalow. They moved around over the years, but never left the island. I remember collecting sand at the Needles, and as a teenager walking down to the ferry (in Cowes, I think) to watch the Swedish school girls arrive. I spent much more time in London, wandering around Shepherds Bush Market, the Serpentine, and Holland Park – and riding the tubes all over creation.
I like the Tolkien reference, but it sounds like we need to skip to the chapter entitled “The Scouring of the Shire” and clear out Saruman (who do you pick to play him?) and company. My wife is half-British as well (Welsh to my English) and we had planned to spend some of our retirement years there as I am eligible for dual-citizenship. However, now it seems positively dismal, and horrifically expensive. I might be able to rent something in a caravan park, but that would be the only way I could afford it. I will, of course, have to come and inspect things personally but I’m afraid of completely spoiling my memory of it.
My most recent visit was in the mid-90s and it was to attend my Nan’s funeral. Things were getting grim in London by then but I had hoped the countryside would still be free. Regrettably, it sounds as though even the archetypical British village is a thing of the past.
BUT, I have seen the EDL at work and I have to give them some kudos. Maybe if enough people wake up soon enough, the “Politically Correct” crowd can be cowed and some semblance of Anglican society can be saved.
All my childhood was in Newport, though as kids we walked freely as far as our dinner would carry us.
I too remember the Swedish girls; they were later joined by Danes, even Spanish and Japanese. All part of the ‘EF’ exchange scheme. Then a Danish child was raped by a man from the mainland, and that pretty episode of summer ebbed away.
The Island which had its very first armed robbery in the 80s, is now littered with CCTVs, and the police force from Hampshire, prides itself on being the most gay friendly. They are also fairly expensive to run, and thanks to ‘elf and safety, they insist that the little festivals and carnivals that made up the Island’s summer culture, are well policed or not allowed. And the cost is shared by the organizers, who naturally can’t afford them, thus the Island gets duller and more neurotic.
The wild life has changed also, not so many little birds, but lots of sea gulls; or should they be called gutter gulls, since they seem to have given up on the sea?
The local council are the only growing business on the Island, and I suspect they fill their coffers by accepting lots of mainland city overspills, thus the Island is becoming a dumping ground for lost souls. They’re building 6,000 new cheap homes, to become next decades slum estates no doubt. This is on top of the fact that at best there are 10 JobSeekers for every vacancy on the Island; with a high spot of 50 JobSeekers to every job opportunity in January 2010!
Who plays Saruman, he comes in many guises, but he always leaves with a golden “fuck off”.
It would be worth visiting the Island, not for a golden quiet and charming holiday, but more for an anthropological object lesson in the vagaries of social engineering, by self serving shysters.
All the best from the sunny IOW.
You paint a very bleak picture, my friend. Perhaps it is sadder still, in that many of my relatives on the IOW seem as oblivious to these changes as the proverbial frog in a pot. These are professional and intelligent folk who fail to realize their peril and view opinions such as ours as alarmist. I tend to agree with them but that doesn’t make the alarm a false one.
I will return to the island and see for myself. I used to know some of the Hampshire Constabulary and it pains me no end to hear that the police are complicit in this PC nonsense. My great grandfather and his father were both London Bobbies. They are likely rolling in their graves.
Perhaps you could pop over to Avalon and wake Arthur. I fear it is time.
I don’t understand what ‘roles’ James is referring to here. Does he mean ‘If Obama was the one with the power rather than, say, David Cameron’? If so, this strikes me as bizarre. Does James see the UK as the ‘dominant partner’ in the Special Relationship.
And if Obama is being a slavish suck-up by visiting the Queen, does that mean that the Queen is too? Does she get the same criticism when she’s on state visits?
Finally, the very fact that James needed to exaggerate so much about Obama’s actions in Ireland and Africa lends a clue that he didn’t actually have much to work with. Obama spent a day or say in Ireland, he had a Guinness in a town where he genuinely DID have an ancestor… and that’s about it. He didn’t adopt an Irish accent, put on a green hat, tell Irish people that he was one of them.
“Finally, the very fact that James needed to exaggerate so much about Obama’s actions in Ireland and Africa lends a clue that he didn’t actually have much to work with.”
Don’t expect too much from James. His comedic performance on the Horizon documentary shows the only information he works with are from his own opinions. Won’t be long before he starts advocating the return of the Confederacy in the US and Nazism in Europe. Judging by this piece, James could even be the star columnist for Der Stürmer.
As to your liberal hyperbole, turnabout is fair play. If you look in the mirror you might just catch a glimpse of Goebbels.
Mac, opinion is what I wrote. Looks like you make about as much sense as your grand master Delingpole. Unfortunately for some of you, his opinions are taken as fact.
David Arnett, I’m afraid that Al Gore’s work in creating (not inventing) the Internet precedes the establishment of your site by almost two decades.
Are you really that surprised? Surely you know that the left has always had its head firmly lodged up its @rse. That’s the only way to explain how they can believe in the codswallop they’re continually spouting.