Climategate: The Inaugural Al Gore Poetry Competition

Deeply moving. . .

Al Gore has written a moving poem about climate change. Perhaps readers of Telegraph blogs would care to follow his example. There’s a prize in it for the best one. The winner will receive a copy of Christopher Booker’s superb The Real Global Warming Disaster.

church dees

The competition closes midnight on Sunday. Just post your entry below. (Entries only please; save your comments for my non-poetry-related blogs).

Here are some themes you might want to consider:

Thoughts of a majestic polar bear as he gazes mournfully over the warming oceans from his melting ice cap.

Does anything rhyme with George Monbiot?

How the heroic MSM is threatening to put the internet out of business with its full and frank coverage of the Climategate scandal.

Ode to Lumumba Stanislaus Di-Aping.

How each drip of a melting glacier is like the tear of a dying child.

ManBearPig

“I have a mansion, forget the price….” The Al Gore song.

There that should be enough to keep you going. Here’s one already from blog reader Joe. I’m not saying it’s a winner, but I hope it gets everyone into the right spirit:

Roses are red, violets are blue, algore is a crook and his friends smell of poo

Oh, and in case you need a crib for parody purposes here is Al Gore’s meisterwerk.

One thin September soon

A floating continent disappears

In midnight sun

Vapors rise as

Fever settles on an acid sea

Neptune’s bones dissolve

Snow glides from the mountain

Ice fathers floods for a season

A hard rain comes quickly

Then dirt is parched

Kindling is placed in the forest

For the lightning’s celebration

Unknown creatures

Take their leave, unmourned

Horsemen ready their stirrups

Passion seeks heroes and friends

The bell of the city

On the hill is rung

The shepherd cries

The hour of choosing has arrived

Here are your tools

Related posts:

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  2. Gore fakes ‘proof’ of Man Made Global Warming shock
  3. Climategate: what Gore’s useful idiot Ed Begley Jr doesn’t get about the ‘peer review’ process
  4. Climategate goes uber-viral, Gore flees leaving evil henchmen to defend crumbling citadel

One Response to “Climategate: the inaugural Al Gore prize poetry competition”

  1. Sui Juris says:December 12, 2009 at 1:05 pmThoughts from the Medieval and Roman Warm PeriodsA peasant, toiléd home from Yorkshire tilth, and poured
    A flagon of good wine when he reached home
    And was refreshed. His feudal labour owned his lord,
    But the vine that brought his cheer was all his own.The captain of a century upon the wall looked over
    Pictish country, far from southern seas
    But a handful of olives from a local grove
    Awaked remembrance of Roman ease.

    Now they rest from their labour both and consider the times
    And ask what became of their summers of old;
    And our olives and wine come from southern climes
    And the centuries wonder, “Is it not rather too cold?”

Why We Can All Stop Worrying about ‘Global Warming’ for a Bit

Three months to go until the UN climate summit in Copenhagen. Three months in which we will be repeatedly assured by climate fear promoters such as Al Gore, George Monbiot, Ed Miliband and the risible Ban Ki-moon that this really is absolutely, definitely, totally and irrevocably the very last chance the world’s leaders will have to save the planet from ManBearPig.

(Just like they said at Rio and Poznan and all the other “let’s see who can rack up the biggest carbon footprint” global shindigs that eco-campaigners insist on staging, the better to stoke up their self-flagellatory eco-guilt).

But, for the global warming deniers among us at least, the panic’s off. Nothing scary or dangerous is going to happen as a result of the Copenhagen summit. It will be a talking shop, abundant with airy platitudes and earnest pieties, but signifying less than ****er all as far as economy-damaging Kyoto-style legislation goes. There will be a political statement of intent. But no binding “agreement”.

Here are few reasons why:

1. A bit like one of those mutant pandas I mentioned yesterday, the science has turned viciously against the warmists. Not that it wasn’t against them before.  But they have their work seriously cut out if they’re ever going to recover from the  speech given at the UN world climate conference in Geneva last week by Professor Mojib Latif of Germany’s Leibniz institute.

National Post columnist Lorne Gunter explains:

“Latif is one of the leading climate modellers in the world. He is the recipient of several international climate-study prizes and a lead author for the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC). He has contributed significantly to the IPCC’s last two five-year reports that have stated unequivocally that man-made greenhouse emissions are causing the planet to warm dangerously.”

Yet in Geneva, Latif was forced to admit that all those An-Inconvenient-Truth-style fantasy projections showing global temperatures rising inexorably with C02 levels were wrong. The world is getting cooler, not warming. It will continue to cool, Latif reckons, till 2020 or possibly 2030. By how much he doesn’t know: “The jury is still out.”

Which begs the rather obvious question: if the IPCC’s doomsday computer models didn’t predict this cooling phase, how can we be sufficiently confident in their other assertions to start basing major economic and social policy decisions on them?

2. The Chinese. Spin it how they will, President Hu Jintao’s two-minute speech to the UN yesterday was a massive blow to the Warmists. In classic “Tell the foolish gwailo what they want to hear, then carry on doing exactly what we want” Chinese diplomatic style, Hu Jintao promised “determined action”, while refusing to commit his country to any binding targets.

The Chinese are not stupid. Their priority number one (and two, and three) is economic growth, not assuaging green lobbyists.

3. People just don’t care about “climate change” that much. Environmental purity is a rich person’s luxury and with the recession most people have other priorities. In the latest Bloomberg poll in the US, for example, just 2 per cent of respondents considered “climate change” the most important issue facing the country.

4. Almost everyone knows deep down that the green lobby’s CO2 targets are pie in the sky. Says Stephen Hayward of the American Competitive Institute in WSJ Online

“Carbon dioxide is the result of complete fuel combustion. Apart from still-unproven technologies, there’s no way to remove it from the process. The only way to reduce emissions is to burn less fuel, which means less energy output.

“So, to meet the target the climate campaigners have set, the U.S., Europe and Japan will have to replace virtually their entire fossil-fuel energy infrastructure. For the U.S., the 80% target means reducing fossil-fuel greenhouse-gas emissions to a level the nation last experienced in 1910. On a per-capita basis, we’d have to go back to the level of about 1875.”

5. If anyone’s going to push these crazy measures through it’s President Obama. But, as Terence Corcoran sensibly points out, after the rough ride he’s had with his healthcare proposals, Obama is unlikely to want to outrage the US taxpayer still further.

“Mr. Obama, already fighting charges his medicare reform will boost taxes on the average American family by $3,000, isn’t likely to simultaneously mount an aggressive push for carbon control legislation that will add another $4,000 a year in taxes.”

6. Right, consider this my serious climate change piece for the week. Now, I can go back to trading childish insults. Phew!

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