October 20, 2011
It requires real talent and serious effort to become the worst Tory prime minister in history. To be honest, I never thought Cameron had it in him. I thought: “Well maybe they’re right, all those Tory “insiders” who tap the sides of their noses knowingly and say: ‘Don’t you worry. He knows what he’s doing. He’s just positioning himself, that’s all. Deep down he’s a true blue Eurosceptic small state Tory through and through.” And after that, I thought: “I mean however bad he does get, he’s never going to be a match in sheer bloody awfulness for the chippy, asexual sailor who first set our course for the rocks clearly marked Euro Hell Oblivion, all the while reassuring his nervous crew, “No they’re not rocks at all. They’re actually a really deep, safe channel which just looks like rocks but is in fact an optical illusion. A special, magic deep channel which will also end wars and make us all richer and give us more fish than ever before.”
But Dave, I salute you. Today you have managed it with the most pointless, spiteful, vindictive, bullying absurd directive so far in your already swollen catalogue of disasters as Prime Minister.
Even as MPs agreed to hold a Commons vote on a referendum, government sources made clear that the Tories would be whipped to vote against a poll.
Mr Cameron’s decision to impose a three-line whip has angered many MPs, since the vote was called under rules the Coalition promised would give backbenchers more freedom.
Not only will this decision needlessly alienate some of the most talented up-and-coming Conservative MPs, from Douglas Carswell and Steve Baker to Priti Patel, but it will confirm to what little of the traditional Tory constituency which hasn’t already deserted to UKIP that Cameron’s new, “detoxed” principle-free Conservative party is no longer capable of representing their interests in any way whatsoever.
Also, of course, it will provide the most splendiferous free gift both to Nigel Farage and to Dave’s old school chum Boris who, not unreasonably, is positioning himself rather more sensibly on the forthcoming Eurogeddon.
Mr Johnson told a Westminster lunch: “I think it would be absolutely crazy to decide the solution to the eurozone crisis is to intensify fiscal union and try to create an economic government of Europe. I really can’t see for the life of me how that is going to work.”
But don’t let’s allow Boris to steal Dave’s thunder on this, of all days, Dave’s very special day:
The day he finally got the title of the Worst Tory Prime Minister in British history.
- Cameron’s dream comes true: Prince of Darkness officially anoints him ‘Heir to Blair’
- Tory sleaze is worse than ever: Yeo and Deben must go!
- Wind farms: even worse than we thought…
- So what if Cameron left his daughter behind in the pub?
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