Yes **** Sherlock

A bit rubbish. . .

Not gay. No one ever thought they were. Really.

Here are the two best things about Sherlock.

1. The word clouds. Sherlock is, as far as I know, the first TV series to have done this and it works very well: it’s a quick, clever, post-modern way – the visual equivalent of the voice overs on Peep Show – to reveal Sherlock’s intricate thought processes and it’s often funny too.

2. Sherlock’s overcoat. It’s by Belstaff, in case you hadn’t noticed. I certainly did. In last night’s episode, they actually showed the label. Now I happen to like Belstaff – a classic English brand (it’s what Lawrence of Arabia wore when he had his fatal motorcycle accident) cannily bought by the Italians and turned into a global luxury phenomenon a la Burberry. But I do think such naked product placement in a prime time TV show is a trifle vulgar. Nor, I’m convinced, would a character as dull as John Watson wear that Haversack jacket with the patch on just the one shoulder. It’s way too fashion-forward for him.

Apart from that, though, we can surely all agree that it’s one of the most overrated things on TV and that last night’s comeback was no more than a meh.

Low points:

1. Benedict Cumberbatch. Not just an old Harrovian but, worse, a lefty old Harrovian. God it’s irritating, people who’ve benefited from one of the best educations in the world and then perpetually whinge about it, like it’s some sort of stigma.

2. (plot spoiler alert) The scene at the end where Sherlock pretends he doesn’t know how to defuse the bomb but he does all along – it just involves pressing the off switch on the alarm clock. I call this taking the mick. If the crisis point of the drama can be resolved that easily why bother hiring a scriptwriter?

3. The gay kiss with Moriarty. My prediction for 2014: homosexuality will be made compulsory on pain of death.

4. All the various explanations as to how Sherlock survived jumping off the roof of St Barts Hospital. They were rubbish. All of them. And very, very silly. I call this insulting the audience’s intelligence.

5. The general smug in-jokery and self-congratulation. It’s coming over all Doctor Who, innit?

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