I know we still have a couple of months before the GCSE results come in but already I can make a confident prediction: Britain’s 16-year olds will be proved with a record number of A and A* grades to be the brightest 16 year olds in the nation’s history.
Any commentator who dares to use unhelpful phrases like “grade inflation” will be dismissed by the current Schools Minister (presuming Gordon Brown can find any MP still willing to serve under him as far hence as August) as an ‘elitist snob bent on undermining the very real achievements of our hardworking children and their hardworking teachers who have done so much to position Britain at the forefront of international league tables of academic excellence, comfortably beating Afghanistan, Chechnya and Sudan, and only a notch or two below such well-known scholastic hot-spots as Burkina Faso, Albania and Somalia.’
Meanwhile, here is some recent research comparing difficulty levels in Maths papers in the last four decades.
1. Teaching maths in 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?
2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?
3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?
4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.
Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.
All right, these are actually made-up examples from a joke website, but can anyone spot any major difference between the satire and reality? Have a look at the joke in full at this site. It goes on to satirize health and safety legislation, Government incompetence and the rise of Islamism. If it weren’t all so depressingly true, you’d almost find it in your heart to laugh.
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